It’s a good thing that bad grammar and sentence structure does not make me lose my appetite, because otherwise I would have not eaten my delicious honey turkey club sandwich from Koch’s Deli on 43rd and Locust after seeing this sign:
THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY NO BICYCLE ON THIS TREE PLEASE
Lets just take a look at that. Written in all caps, no period at the end, and the sentence makes no sense. I like that someone asked why not. It’s really the only saving grace of this monstrosity.
Then, in response to the “why not” question, someone says, “Because tree’s feel.” No, the trees feel. This is not a situation in which an apostrophe-s is used. Goddamn it, I went to a shitty state school and I know this. I certainly didn’t go to school at a fancy ivy league jawn like say…UPENN, which I hear is kind of tough to get into.
Philadelphia is fighting a war on grammar, and I think Philadelphia is winning.