Thanks for not breaking my window. It was stupid of me to leave one of my doors unlocked. That was my fault. However, you didn’t even steal anything good! You took my GPS I bought in 2008 with a dead battery that also requires a secret pin to use even if you miraculously got a charger for it. You also took the car charger for my iPhone that stopped working 2 months ago, and I’ve just been too lazy to throw away.
The real fun part for me was when I saw you do it, and rather than confront you, I watched my friend Officer Johnson of the 22nd Police District who was parked on the corner arrest your stupid ass. Seriously, when there is a police officer within eyesight, just sitting in his car, breaking the law shows extraordinarily poor judgment on your part.
Hope it was worth it.