As long-term readers of this site know, I’m kind of obsessed with urban-marketed snacks. It might be the fact that they can only be found in corner stores that initially drew me in, as I am a big fan of corner stores. However, I think it was the ridiculousness that kept me hooked like a trout on a fishing line. Before we get into the new line of urban snacks to hit the market, lets recap.
We had Homegirls Potato Chips featuring Maria, Kathy, and Rasheeda.
Then we had Chumpies Chocolate Covered Pretzels featuring the “H-Boys”, also known as Kareem, Rafael, and Eric.
Lastly, we had Rap Snacks featuring Romeo, where he compares himself to Martin Luther King or some shit like that.
This morning I found myself at a corner store in North Philadelphia and discovered we now have a new line of chips: PAPI’S!
Four different varieties! Lets dissect a little deeper…
Red Hot Chili Flavored!
Cheese, Garlic, and Onion Flavored!
Philly Magic Flavored (I have zero idea what this could possibly be),
And…Cheesy Sweet Chili Flavored.
The good news doesn’t stop there though, just like all the others, these chips have a manifesto attached:
A shout out: to you who profit from the sale of illegal weapons, which land in the hands of the incompetent.
A shout out:to you who introduce indoctrination that entrap the ignorant into the use of guns and bullets.
A shout out:to you who knowingly profit from the imprisonment of the ignorant.
A shout out: to the hardheaded youth who never live in the liberties of our great society having received life sentences.
A shout out: to all others (the price of education is far cheaper than the cost of IGNORANCE).